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Delisi Friday spent her teenage summers answering phones at her father's law firm. Those hours spent listening as strangers described the worst days of their lives gave Friday keen insight into the legal industry and solidified her belief that genuine connection and caring matter. Two decades later, her company, First Call Friday, is coaching attorneys on how to scale their business the old-fashioned way, via a referral engine built one real relationship at a time.
—Interview by Emily Kelchen, edited by Bianca Prieto
(Image credit: Delisi Araceli Friday)
What do referrals provide a firm that paid marketing can’t?
Referrals come with a level of trust that paid marketing can never buy. I’ve had clients tell me they lost a case because the potential new client said, “I really liked you, but I’m going with another attorney my (friend/family member) recommended and had a good experience using.”
An ad can’t compete with the transfer of trust in a referral.
An ad can’t compete with the transfer of trust in a referral.
What's the biggest misconception lawyers have about how referrals actually happen?
Lawyers are always telling me they think referrals only come from networking, so introverted attorneys think it can’t work for them. But it’s simply not true. Referrals occur from relationships, not mass networking.
In fact, the untapped referral source I see is law school friends. One hundred percent of my clients (yes, 100%) of my clients in 18 different states and in nine different practice areas all get referrals from their law school friends. It’s pure gold when you tap that network, and all it takes is staying in touch. I want lawyers to maintain friendships, especially those. It’s profitable, but also good for the soul.
So, is showing up to networking events just a waste of time?
It can be a good use of time depending on the event. The people in the room are key to this. If you know the people there are who you want to meet or stay connected to, then absolutely. But you have to be intentional, or it’s a total waste of time.
What do you mean by being intentional?
There are 3 types of people at networking events. Those who are networking, netsocializing and netselling.
NETWORKING - You chose the event for a reason. You are truly WORKING the room because you know who you want to meet. You're there to have a few good conversations.
NETSOCIALIZING - You showed up without a purpose. You said hello, enjoyed the food and drinks and figured you'd just see what happens.
NETSELLING - You treated everyone you met like a potential client or potential referral partner. You were so focused on selling yourself, you never learned anything about anyone you met.
When lawyers tell me “I network, but it doesn’t lead to business,” I usually uncover it’s because they’re netsocializing without a true purpose and are doing it to check a box.
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How do you shift into netWORKING mode?
If you want to network, you should do it with a goal of who you want to meet. If you know family law attorneys are your best referral source, then go to networking events where they will be and don’t go there to collect business cards.
Have real conversations with people, so connection truly happens. Quality over quantity is key.
Do the same rules apply for connecting with folks outside of law with referrals in mind?
Absolutely. All of us can recognize that friend who knows everyone. They are so connected and literally thrive off making connections. I’m one of them! My circle of influence is so large, and it’s intentional.
Think about who those master connectors are in your network and keep in touch with them. I see a lot of realtors and financial advisors who are like this, anyone in sales, and hairstylists and barbers.
What does it actually mean to be a good referral partner to someone else, not just a good recipient?
I believe the best referral partners communicate well and show appreciation. When a referral comes in, they acknowledge it and say, “Thank you.”
I’m shocked at how many lawyers don’t talk to intake about referrals that don’t convert, so they can tell those sources, “Thank you.” Appreciation should happen for every referral, not just the ones that convert.
And communication is imperative. I see lawyers lose referrals every week because they don’t respond timely. Speed to lead is just as important with referrals too.
It sounds like a lot of this can be done without increasing your marketing budget.
You don’t need a big budget to be a rainmaker. I have clients who generate over 100 referrals in a year, and they only send one gift a year and use their phone and email. Another client of mine always brings in a case when he just “checks in” to say, “Hi” or asks to grab a bourbon or cigar.
Connection is powerful, and caring doesn’t cost a thing. When you consistently care and are a good human it can bring in business without a massive budget.
Bonus Round: What’s something currently on your radar that’s shaping how you’re thinking and working right now?
Jay Ruane has an amazing book called Analog Marketing in a Digital World. I cannot suggest that book enough. In a truly digital world, going analog stands out for a fraction of the price, and Jay does an amazing job sharing it all so freely. Every lawyer should buy it.
Raise The Bar’s Take
If you're overcomplicating referral-building, the fix is simpler than you think: stay in touch, mean it and let that be enough. If you need to expand your network, make sure you’re actually netWORKING at the next professional event you attend.
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Raise the Bar is written and curated by Emily Kelchen, edited by Bianca Prieto.
