Is the secret to work-life balance more work?

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By Emily Kelchen | for Raise the Bar

A couple of years ago attorney Nicole “Niki” Rust hit her breaking point. Serving as an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Colorado’s Department of Law was her dream job, but the work was taking an unexpected emotional toll. Rust needed a way to relieve her stress, and she found it in a side hustle. 

As a government attorney who handles a lot of child welfare and elder abuse cases, you see a lot of heavy stuff. And from what I understand, the weight of that responsibility took a toll on you. Can you talk a little bit about that? 

I had a real wake-up call about two years ago when I was not handling my work-related stress well, and it overtook me in the form of severe anxiety.  Like, I am talking, I could not eat, could not sleep, was afraid of every little thing, and had panic attacks. I realized I needed medical help, so I got it. And what I learned is that I actually do need to put myself first.

What does that look like? 

For me, it means exercising and meditating, journaling every day and ensuring I am making time for connecting with my friends and family. Having a dark sense of humor doesn’t hurt! 

But what really makes a difference for me is tapping into my creative side. Growing up, I always took art, music and theater classes, but I hadn’t done anything like that for years. I started dabbling in drawing, painting and embroidery again. One thing led to another, and last year my best friend and I launched Ampersand Hat Company. 

Our mission is to provide a bespoke hat experience at a more attainable price point, but it’s about more than that. The name “Ampersand” honors all of the “ands” in a woman’s life and reminds us to reclaim parts of ourselves that we were either shamed into hiding, told were too much or not enough, or not lady-like or too aggressive. We wanted to make a space where women can creatively claim all that they are.

So your way to relax and recharge from work is... more work? 

Well, when you put it like that, yes, I guess so! I have learned that mental health is not all talk-therapy and meditation and feelings… which is good because I am not great at feelings! Mental health is also making sure you are using your energy to replenish your body and mind. For me, when I get to be creative, using my hands to work becomes meditative and a way to get anxious energy out. It also becomes a way to use the creative part of my brain to figure out problems the logical side can’t.

That sounds like a revelation you don’t want to keep under your hat!

It’s time for lawyers to be much more open about their mental health. Our well-being is not worth whatever salary, bonus or recognition is up for grabs. And sacrificing our time, energy, weekends and vacations for the job is not worth it.  

Edited for brevity and clarity.

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Raise the Bar is curated and written by Emily Kelchen and edited by Bianca Prieto.